[PDF] Napalm Silly Putty eBook

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 29,38 MB
Release : 2001-07-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0786871598

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A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings. Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask: How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite? Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff? In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"? And he makes some startling observations, including: Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore. Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including: KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette Books
Page : 309 pages
File Size : 47,13 MB
Release : 2004-10-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1401381715

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On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

Author : James Sullivan
Publisher : Da Capo Press
Page : 282 pages
File Size : 14,56 MB
Release : 2010-06-08
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 0786745924

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In Seven Dirty Words, journalist and cultural critic James Sullivan tells the story of Alternative America from the 1950s to the present, from the singular vantage point of George Carlin, the Catholic boy for whom nothing was sacred. A critical biography, Seven Dirty Words is an insightful (and, of course, hilarious) examination of Carlin's body of work as it pertained to its cultural times and the man who created it, from his early days as amore-or-less conventional comedian to his stunning transformation into the subversive comedic voice of the emerging counterculture. Sullivan also chronicles Carlin's struggles with censorship and drugs, as well as the full-blown renaissance he experienced in the 1990s, both personally and professionally, when he became an elder statesman to a younger generation of comics who revered him. Seven Dirty Words is nothing less than the definitive biography of an American master who changed the world, and also a work of cultural commentary which frames George Carlin's extraordinary legacy.

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hyperion
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 24,44 MB
Release : 2011-05-17
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781401310554

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A perfectly gift-able, perfectly cynical, slipcased omnibus of George Carlin's trademark irreverence -- including bonus never-before-published material For four decades, George Carlin has been one of America's favorite comics, known as much for his willingness to take on taboo subjects as for his absurdist wordplay. As an author, he has proved equally popular: With combined sales of more than two million copies, Carlin's three books of razor-sharp and hilarious observations have topped bestseller lists nationwide. Now, just in time for the holidays, Hyperion proudly collects all three volumes -- When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops, Napalm and Silly Putty, and Brain Droppings - into one hilarious omnibus, a slipcased edition that also includes new material.

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette Books
Page : 207 pages
File Size : 31,91 MB
Release : 2001-07-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0786871598

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A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings. Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask: How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite? Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff? In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"? And he makes some startling observations, including: Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore. Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including: KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 336 pages
File Size : 40,85 MB
Release : 2021-11-02
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0306827107

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A new collection of greatest hits from one of the greatest comedians of our time, George Carlin, now the subject of the HBO documentary George Carlin’s American Dream, directed by Judd Apatow and Michael Bonfiglio George Carlin was: “a true, true artist” (Chris Rock)…”the master” (Jon Stewart)…“one of the Mount Rushmore guys in our profession” (Jerry Seinfeld)…“the comedian’s comedian” (Jay Leno)…“an icon for comedy” (Margaret Cho)…”a deep thinker and a very, very funny man” (Lily Tomlin)…“one of my heroes” (Stephen Colbert)…“brilliant” (Joan Rivers)… You can’t talk about comedy legends without talking George Carlin. Named the greatest standup of all time by XM Radio’s “All Time Comedy Greats” (and #2 by both Comedy Central and Rolling Stone), Carlin garnered multiple gold records, 4 Grammys, 6 Emmy nominations, and the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He was the first host of SNL, appeared on the Tonight Show some 130 times, and acted in beloved films like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Dogma. Dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians,” there was no one like George Carlin. Featuring a foreword by Lewis Black and an introduction by Carlin's longtime best friend and manager, A Modern Man is a perfect introduction for new fans and a must-have for longtime fans, showcasing the longevity, range, and—above all—hilarity of the master. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other delicious verbal ordeals, it is drop-dead funny tour through Carlin’s singular mind. More than ten years after his death, Carlin’s characteristically ironic takes on life's annoying universal truths remain thoughtful, fearless, and somehow more relevant than ever.

Author : Justin Simien
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 160 pages
File Size : 24,78 MB
Release : 2014-09-30
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1476798109

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*Now a Netflix Original Series* In the satirical tradition of the New York Times bestseller Stuff White People Like comes this witty companion book to the “incredibly entertaining” (Indiewire) film of the same name, which “heralds a fresh and funny new voice” (Variety). Right out of college, Justin Simien wrote a screenplay about the nuanced experiences of four black students on a predominantly white college campus. The film, Dear White People, garnered a Sundance Award for “Breakthrough Talent” and has been hailed by critics everywhere. Channeling the sensibility of the film into this book, Simien will keep you laughing with his humorous observations, even if you haven’t seen the satiric film. News Flash—the minimum number of black friends needed to not seem racist has just been raised to two. Rather than panic, readers are advised to purchase a copy of Dear White People. Whether you are a dear white person wondering why your black office mate is avoiding eye contact with you after you ran your fingers through her hair, or you’re a black nerd who has to break it to your white friends that you’ve never seen The Wire, this myth-busting, stereotype-diffusing guide to a post-Obama world has something for you! With decision-making trees to help you decide when it’s the right time to wear Blackface (hint: probably never) and quizzes to determine whether you’ve become the Token Black Friend™, Dear White People is the ultimate silly-yet-authoritative handbook to help the curious and confused navigate racial microaggressions in their daily lives. Based on the eponymous, award-winning film, which has been lauded as “a smart, hilarious satire,” this tongue-in-cheek guide is a must-have that anybody who is in semi-regular contact with black people can’t afford to miss!

Author : George Carlin
Publisher : Peter Pauper Press, Inc.
Page : 92 pages
File Size : 38,56 MB
Release : 2007-06
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781593598747

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With his signature dark and daring humor drawn from everyday life, the world at large, and the vagaries of the English language, George Carlin offers his creative finest in The Best of Braindroppings. From the random braindropping ("When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") to favorite oxymorons ("holy war," for one), and from questions to ponder ("Why are there no B batteries?" for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

Author : Dave Anthony
Publisher : Ten Speed Press
Page : 146 pages
File Size : 35,18 MB
Release : 2017-05-09
Category : History
ISBN : 0399578765

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The creators of the podcast The Dollop present illustrated profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history. Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds cover the weird stories you didn't learn in history class, such as 10-Cent Beer Night, the Jackson Cheese, and the Kentucky Meat Shower, accompanied by full-page illustrations that bring each historical "milestone" to life in full-color.