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Attachment theory is on the leading edge of a conceptual revolution. It offers a new paradigm that can synthesize into a more coherent whole the best ideas from psychoanalysis, cognitive science, and neurobiology. With its emphasis on relationships, attachment theory is determinedly humanistic, while retaining the scientific vigor of Darwinian ethnology. Attachment theory provides an overall framework for thinking about relationships, or more accurately, about those aspects of relationships that are shaped by threat and the need for security, themes that are central to the work of psychotherapy. In this book Jeremy Holmes explores the contribution of attachment theory to everyday psycho-therapeutic practice where patients are usually seen once weekly, or less, for no more than two to three years.
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A discussion of the self, both in and out of therapy. For each of us, our thoughts, beliefs, desires, expectations, and fantasies constitute our own sense of a unique identity. Here, Jungian and relational psychoanalyst Jean Knox argues that this experience of self-agency is always at the heart of psychological growth and development, and it follows a developmental trajectory that she examines in detail, from the realm of bodily action and reaction in the first few months of life, through the emergence of different levels of agency, to the mature expression of agency in language and metaphor. Knox makes the case that the achievement of a secure sense of self-agency lies at the heart of any successful psychotherapy, and argues for an updated psychoanalytic therapy rooted in a developmental and intersubjective approach. Drawing on a range of therapeutic disciplines—including interpersonal neurobiology, attachment theory, and developmental research—she proposes an integrated and flexible clinical approach that is based on the actual interpersonal agency of analyst and patient, rather than any one specific theory about the human unconscious being imposed on the patient by the analyst’s interpretations. Detailed clinical examples explore this approach. Part of the Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology, Self-Agency in Psychotherapy deftly balances theory and practice, offering practical applications for groundbreaking research on self-agency.
This insightful new volume explores the many and varied aspects of the process of intimacy as it relates to autonomy in couples therapy. The nature of intimacy in relationships is explored from a variety of vantage points by experienced therapists with a wide range of backgrounds. This thought-provoking book will provide all therapists and mental health/counseling professionals with insight into the subject of intimacy and the problems involved in attaining access to the intimacy process in therapy with couples. Given that a large portion of the population of our culture suffers from various forms of intimacy disorder, Intimate Autonomy: Autonomous Intimacy brings a variety of viewpoints of utmost importance to all who are involved in couples therapy. In-depth coverage of various factors related to intimacy and autonomy is provided by this intriguing book. Some of the topics examined include the myth and reality of intimate autonomy in couples relationships, narcissistic vulnerability in marriage, the fear of loneliness as the basic and universal drive motivating intimacy, intimate autonomy as it relates to the Gestalt therapy concept of the "I-Thou" relationship, a comparison of transference in therapy to falling in love, the use of existential reflection with Vietnam veterans in marital therapy to increase meaning awareness, and a clinical guide to the use of a conceptualization of marital intimacy based on the idea of a matrix of four basic characteristics of intimacy. Mental health professionals, pastoral counsellors, clergy, and psychotherapists will find plenty of food-for-thought on the subject of intimacy and autonomy in couples relationships in this fascinating volume.
This multidisciplinary handbook, edited by the premier scholars in the field, reflects the empirical work and growth in the field of adolescent psychology.
A discussion of the self, both in and out of therapy. For each of us, our thoughts, beliefs, desires, expectations, and fantasies constitute our own sense of a unique identity. Here, Jungian and relational psychoanalyst Jean Knox argues that this experience of self-agency is always at the heart of psychological growth and development, and it follows a developmental trajectory that she examines in detail, from the realm of bodily action and reaction in the first few months of life, through the emergence of different levels of agency, to the mature expression of agency in language and metaphor. Knox makes the case that the achievement of a secure sense of self-agency lies at the heart of any successful psychotherapy, and argues for an updated psychoanalytic therapy rooted in a developmental and intersubjective approach. Drawing on a range of therapeutic disciplines—including interpersonal neurobiology, attachment theory, and developmental research—she proposes an integrated and flexible clinical approach that is based on the actual interpersonal agency of analyst and patient, rather than any one specific theory about the human unconscious being imposed on the patient by the analyst’s interpretations. Detailed clinical examples explore this approach. Part of the Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology, Self-Agency in Psychotherapy deftly balances theory and practice, offering practical applications for groundbreaking research on self-agency.
This book combines attachment theory and research with clinical experience to provide practitioners with tools for engaging with individuals who are indifferent, avoidant, highly defensive, and who struggle to make and maintain intimate connections with others. Composed of four papers presented at a Wimbledon Guild conference in 2017, this text examines the origins of avoidant attachment patterns in early life, describes research tools that offer a more refined understanding of this insecure attachment pattern, explores the internal object worlds of "dismissing" adults, and considers the impact on couple relationships when one or both partners avoid intimacy or dependency. Each chapter contains case studies with children and families, adolescents, adults and couples that acknowledge the challenges of engaging with these "shut down" individuals, with authors sharing what they have learned from their patients about what is needed for effective psychotherapy. It is an accessible book full of clinical richness and insight and will be invaluable to practitioners who are interested in deepening their understanding and clinical skills from an attachment perspective.
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. David Schnarch, one of the foremost experts on sexuality and relationships, explains why normal healthy couples in long-term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. In-depth examples of couples he has counselled reveal his unique understanding of common-but-difficult sexual desire problems that affect couples of all ages. Combining compassion and clinical wisdom, Dr. Schnarch explains how to use his revolutionary Four Points of Balance approach to resolve low desire, mismatched desire, sexual boredom, and the emotional gridlock that accompanies these problems. Intimacy and Desire provides a roadmap for how couples can transform common sexual desire problems into self-exploration and personal development that leads to psychological and spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and more powerful and meaningful desire for each other. It provides time-proven comprehensive solutions that help couples reconnect with each other sexually, and take their intimacy and passion to new, previously unexplored heights.
Does your partner experience their relationship with you through a certain detachment? Do you feel coldness and distance within the relationship that is difficult to explain? Do you strive to grow your relationship, but have been stuck in the same spot for months or even years? A partner with an avoidant attachment style of emotion can build walls and create distances in any couple relationship, can show strict communication limits and undermine a romantic relationship. The detached attitude of the avoidant attachment personality can be frustrating for a partner, who will find him or herself experiencing feelings of uselessness and/or neglect, even to the point of feeling completely abandoned. Those who in a relationship with an avoidant partner can, justifiably, take a few steps back and question the entire relationship. Similarly, in adult life, people with avoidant attachments fear losing their self-reliance. They come to think that forming a partnership with another person will lead them to lose something of themselves. They approach the relationship in a conflictual way. On the one hand, they seek it because they desire intimacy and closeness, but on the other, living the relationship as a couple forces them to confront the painful memory of primary relationships that were emotionally deficient or sources of suffering. You may already have started a family with an avoidant person and made huge efforts to try to make it all work, out of love for your partner, family and children (as well as for your own happiness!). The mechanisms of distancing the avoidant partner have very deep roots. Only knowledge of these ‘protection systems’ can overcome the distances with the person you love. There is no other way. I recommend that you read this book if your partner: - Has a shy, detached, elusive personality or seems impervious to love and emotions. - Struggles to think as a couple and to build a sense of ‘US’. - Obstructs, or deviates from any attempt to communicate your hurt feelings. - Cannot – or will not - accept help from others. - Shows boundless love for a pet but can be cool and aloof with you. - Regards any request for intimacy from you as pressurising. - Shows difficulties in living the sexual life of a couple in a natural way, sometimes even avoiding intimacy in their relationships. - Is not aware of these dynamics, so can come to question love, to the point of thinking that they are a difficult person. Not everyone wants or has time to physically sit down with a couple counsellor. They are often not prepared for this type of specific attachment. Instead, you might feel: - Empty and confused when you are close to your partner. - Like an invader of their privacy and put aside. - That there is something wrong and you feel that somehow, it's your fault. - As if you are playing a constant game of ‘hide and seek’ in the relationship. - That sometimes, you are insecure and unworthy of love. If you do not intervene soon, those in a couple relationship with an avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship that consists of distances, until the relationship eventually fragments. Everything you have built together will have been in vain. Understanding the wounds of attachment is the best gift you can give to your relationship, and grow and nurture intimacy.