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The best-selling author of The Dance of Anger shares insight into the role of apologies in healing broken connections and restoring trust, sharing compelling case stories and tested theories that explain how to craft a meaningful apology while avoiding choices that deepen original injuries.
From the bestselling author of The Vagina Monologues-a powerful, life-changing examination of abuse and atonement. “A triumph of artistry and empathy.” -Naomi Klein “A crucial step forward . . . This is an urgently needed book right now.” -Jane Fonda “Courageous, transformative, and yes-healing.” -Anne Lamott Like millions of women, Eve Ensler has been waiting much of her lifetime for an apology. Sexually and physically abused by her father, Eve has struggled her whole life from this betrayal, longing for an honest reckoning from a man who is long dead. After years of work as an anti-violence activist, she decided she would wait no longer; an apology could be imagined, by her, for her, to her. The Apology, written by Eve from her father's point of view in the words she longed to hear, attempts to transform the abuse she suffered with unflinching truthfulness, compassion, and an expansive vision for the future. Through The Apology Eve has set out to provide a new way for herself and a possible road for others, so that survivors of abuse may finally envision how to be free. She grapples with questions she has sought answers to since she first realized the impact of her father's abuse on her life: How do we offer a doorway rather than a locked cell? How do we move from humiliation to revelation, from curtailing behavior to changing it, from condemning perpetrators to calling them to reckoning? What will it take for abusers to genuinely apologize? Remarkable and original, The Apology is an acutely transformational look at how, from the wounds of sexual abuse, we can begin to re-emerge and heal. It is revolutionary, asking everything of each of us: courage, honesty, and forgiveness.
'Beautifully outlines how our relationships can dramatically improve by an authentic way to repair' Eve Rodsky, bestselling author of Fair Play 'Practical, effective remedies that can help make reconciled relationships possible' Bishop Michael B Curry In the vein of Hold Me Tight and The Body Keeps the Score, this paradigm-shifting book on apologies shows how they work, why they're so hard, and why they are essential for rebuilding relationships. We've all done something wrong or made a mistake or insulted someone - even if by accident. We've all been hurt and wanted the other person to help us heal. It may be surprising, but the breaches themselves aren't the real problem; our inability to fix them is what causes us trouble. In A Good Apology, clinical psychologist Dr. Molly Howes uses her experiences with patients in her practice, research findings, and news stories to illustrate the power and importance of a thorough apology. She teaches how we can all learn to craft an effective apology with four straightforward steps. An apology is a small-scale event between people, but it's enormously powerful. This comprehensive book gives readers the tools to fix their relationships, make amends, and move forward. With it, you'll fully understand the meaning and importance of this universal and timeless endeavour: a good apology.
In this series of hilarious confessions by "New Jersey's answer to Nick Hornby," learn how apologizing and coming to terms with past embarrassments can lead to compassion and maturity (Jonathan Mahler). Dave Bry is sorry. Very sorry. He's sorry to Wendy Metzger for singing the last verse of "Stairway to Heaven" into her ear while slow dancing in junior high school. He's sorry to Judy and Michael Gailhouse for letting their children watch The Amityville Horror when he babysat them. And he's sorry--especially, truly--that he didn't hear his cancer-ridden father call out for help one fateful afternoon. Things are different now. Dave's become a dad, too, and he's discovered a new compassion for the complicated man who raised him. And maybe if his 17-year-old self could meet his current self, he'd think twice before throwing beer cans on Jon Bon Jovi's lawn. Dave's apologies are at turns hysterically funny and profoundly moving, ultimately adding up to a deeply human, poignant and likable portrait of a man trying to come to grips with his past.
Based on the New York Times bestseller The Body Is Not an Apology, this is an action guide to help readers practice the art of radical self-love both for themselves and to transform our society. Readers of The Body Is Not an Apology have been clamoring for guidance on how to do the work of radical self-love. After crowdsourcing her community, Sonya Renee Taylor found her readers wanted more concrete ideas on how to apply this work in their everyday lives. Your Body Is Not an Apology Workbook is the action guide that gives them tools and structured frameworks they can begin using immediately to deepen their radical self-love journey—such as Taylor's four pillars of practice, which help readers dismantle body shame and give them access to a lifestyle rooted in love. Taylor guides readers to move beyond theory and into doing and being radical self-love change agents in the world. “In this book, you will be asked to draw, color, doodle, talk to friends, take risks, and perhaps step outside of what feels like your natural gifts and talents,” Taylor writes. “I encourage you to release the need to be ‘good' at what you are doing and instead strive to be authentic. Perfection is the enemy of radical self-love because it is an impossible illusion. When the voice of perfectionism chimes in, take a deep breath, remember that the work is about the process, not about the product, and give yourself permission to be fabulously unapologetically imperfect.”
One of the most profound interactions that can occur between people, apologies have the power to heal humiliations, free the mind from deep-seated guilt, remove the desire for vengeance, and ultimately restore broken relationships. With On Apology, Aaron Lazare offers an eye-opening analysis of this vital interaction, illuminating an often hidden corner of the human heart. He discusses the importance of shame, guilt, and humiliation, the initial reluctance to apologize, the simplicity of the act of apologizing, the spontaneous generosity and forgiveness on the part of the offended, the transfer of power and respect between two parties, and much more. Readers will not only find a wealth of insight that they can apply to their own lives, but also a deeper understanding of national and international conflicts and how we might resolve them. The act of apologizing is quite simply immensely fulfilling. On Apology opens a window onto this common occurrence to reveal the feelings and actions at the heart of this profound interaction.
The Body Is Not an Apology The Power of Radical Self-Love Against a global backdrop of war, social upheaval, and personal despair, there is a growing sense of urgency to challenge the systems of oppression that dehumanize bodies and strip us of our shared humanity. Rather than feel helpless in the face of oppression, world-renowned activist, performance poet, and author Sonya Renee Taylor teaches us how to turn to the power of radical self-love in her new book, The Body Is Not an Apology. Radical self-love is the guiding framework that transforms the learned self-hatred of our bodies and the prejudices we have about other people's bodies into a vision of compassion, equity, and justice. In a revolutionary departure from the corporate self-help and body-positivity movement, Taylor forges the inextricable bond between radical self-love and social justice. The first step is recognizing that we have all been indoctrinated into a system of body shame that profits off of our self-hatred. When we ask ourselves, "Who benefits from our collective shame?" we can begin to make the distinction between the messages we are receiving about our bodies or other bodies and the truth. This book moves us beyond our all-too-often hidden lives, where we are easily encouraged to forget that we are whole humans having whole human experiences in our bodies alongside others. Radical self-love encourages us to embark on a personal journey of transformation with thoughtful reflection on the origins of our minds and bodies as a source of strength. In doing this, we not only learn to reject negative messages about ourselves but begin to thwart the very power structures that uphold them. Systems of oppression thrive off of our inability to make peace with bodies and difference. Radical self-love not only dismantles shame and self-loathing in us but has the power to dismantle global systems of injustice-because when we make peace with our bodies, only then do we have the capacity to truly make peace with the bodies of others
"Fresh and useful . . . excellent practical advice . . . thorough and lucid . . . will be welcomed by many who have struggled to ask forgiveness and to forgive." -Publishers Weekly A finalist in the Books for a Better Life Awards competition! Discover the healing power of apology and put its magic to work in your life Do you have a difficult time apologizing or are you involved with someone who does? Do you tend to overapologize and appear weak in others' eyes? Do you want to reconcile with someone but feel they owe you an apology first? Do you need to apologize or make amends to someone but don't know how to go about it? In this inspiring book from internationally acclaimed therapist and self-improvement author Beverly Engel, you will learn why some people have difficulty apologizing while others tend to overapologize. You'll learn how to give a meaningful apology, how to ask for one, and how to receive one. From making amends with those you have hurt to dealing with someone who refuses to apologize to teaching children responsibility and empathy, this life-changing book shows you how to bring a healing new element of renewal into every relationship in your life. "Beverly Engel has eloquently explained the power of apology in a remarkably insightful and perceptive manner. No one has been better able to explain what an apology means and its role in reconciliation." -Rabbi Charles A. Klein, author of How to Forgive When You Can't Forget: Healing Our Personal Relationships "Readers of this wise and lucid guide to the neglected art of authentic apology will acquire a powerful tool to help repair relationships with others and with themselves." -Jeanne Safer, Ph.D., author of Forgiving and Not Forgiving: A New Approach to Resolving Intimate Betrayal "An engaging and in-depth book on a subject that has rarely been addressed so intelligently and thoroughly. Ms. Engel offers the reader specific suggestions that can help you improve all your relationships." -Steven Farmer, M.F.T., author of Adult Children of Abusive Parents
In international bestselling author Campbell Armstrong’s tense, sophisticated thriller, an art project gone wrong draws a painter into the world of a serial killer All around himself, Harrison sees New York City sinking into chaos. Graffiti, robbery, murder, and rape fill the news—crimes committed by desperate people who saw no other option than to hurt someone. As a human being, Harrison is sickened by it. As an artist, he sees an opportunity. After years of getting no recognition for his painting, Harrison is about to quit making art when he has the idea for the Mr. Apology hotline. He posts handbills asking criminals to call in and confess their crimes—anonymously, of course—so he can turn their guilt into his art. But what starts as a clever idea soon takes a deadly turn. When a man calls in to say he’s planning on killing someone, Harrison isn’t sure whether to believe it. But when a killing spree grips the city, this starving artist has no doubt that the final target will be Mr. Apology himself.
From the Theodor Seuss Geisel Award–winning creators of See the Cat: Three Stories About a Dog comes a funny and handy guide that explains just how (and how not!) to say “I’m sorry.” Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone knew how to apologize? Luckily, this humorous guidebook is full of practical tips about when, why, and how to say you’re sorry. From a porcupine who accidentally popped his friend’s balloon to a snail who was running so fast he stepped on a sloth’s toes, hilarious examples and sweet illustrations abound. For both listeners who are just learning and older readers who need a refresher, this book will come as a welcome reminder that even though apologizing can be hard, it doesn’t have to be complicated.