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Some difficult people aren’t just hard to deal with—they’re dangerous. Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems? When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders—borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic—they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they’re hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to: - Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself. - Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life. - Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs. Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.
Bestselling author, therapist, lawyer, and mediator Bill Eddy describes how dangerous, high-conflict personalities have gained power in governments worldwide—and what citizens can do to keep these people out of office. Democracy is under siege. The reason isn't politics but personalities: too many countries have come under the sway of high-conflict people (HCPs) who have become politicians. Most of these high-conflict politicians have traits of narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial (i.e., sociopathic) personality disorder, or both. This is the first and only guide for identifying and thwarting them. HCPs don't avoid conflict, they thrive on it, widening social divisions and exacerbating international tensions. Eddy, the world's leading authority on high-conflict personalities, explains why they're so seductive and describes the telltale traits that define HCPs—he even includes a helpful list of forty typical HCP behaviors. Drawing on historical examples from Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Nixon to Trump, Maduro, and Putin, Eddy shows how HCPs invent enemies and manufacture phony crises so they can portray themselves as the sole heroic figure who can deal with them, despite their inability to actually solve problems. He describes the best ways to expose HCPs as the charlatans they are, reply to their empty and misleading promises, and find genuine leaders to support. Eddy brings his deep psychotherapeutic experience to bear on a previously unidentified phenomena that presents a real threat to the world.
This highly anticipated second edition of Splitting includes new chapters on abuse, alienation, and false allegations; as well as information about the four types of domestic violence, protective orders, and child custody disputes. Are you divorcing someone who’s making the process as difficult as possible? Are they sending you nasty emails, falsifying the truth, putting your children in the middle, abusing you, or abusing the system? Are they “persuasive blamers,” manipulating and fooling court personnel to get them on their side? If so, you need this book. For more than ten years, Splitting has served as the ultimate guide for people divorcing a high conflict person, one who often has borderline or narcissistic (or even antisocial) personality disorder. Among other things, it has saved readers thousands of dollars, helped them keep custody of their children, and effectively guided them through a difficult legal and emotional process. Written by a family law attorney and therapist, and the author of Stop Walking on Eggshells, Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers. Turn to this guide to help you: Predict what your spouse may do or say in court Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking Choose a lawyer who understands your case Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you If you need help navigating a high-conflict divorce from a manipulative spouse, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.
The level of stress and conflict in today's world is higher than seen in decades. We all can use tools for managing the emotions this has caused. At the same time, there also appear to be more "high conflict" people who are preoccupied with blaming others and verbally venting or attacking those around them. Yet, these upset emotions and conflicts can often be calmed immediately through the use of a simple EAR Statement(TM), a method developed and refined by Bill Eddy over the past fifteen years and taught to hundreds of thousands of professionals and individuals. Following on the success of his widely-known BIFF Response(R) method and books, this new book by Bill Eddy on EAR Statements will come in handy in all kinds of upset situations: family conflicts, workplace disputes, neighbor controversies, and any other setting. A simple statement communicating empathy, attention and/or respect to an angry, sad, mentally ill or any upset person at any time can work wonders in minutes. Yet it's not as easy as it looks. It takes practice and this book gives over twenty examples of applying this method in families, communities, customer relations, volunteer organizations, public service, politics, business, police encounters, racial conflicts, schools, mental health settings, and others. Empathy, attention and respect are what all people are looking for, especially when upset or in a conflict. This book will give you the details of how to calm upset people with EAR every day.
Featuring case vignettes from nearly 30 years of Dr. Yudofsky's clinical practice and incorporating the knowledge of gifted clinicians, educators, and research scientists with whom he has collaborated throughout that time, Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With Disorders of Personality and Character uniquely captures the rapidly increasing body of clinical and research information about people with severe and persistent personality and character disorders. Within these pages, the author brings to life the psychopathologies of personality and character disorders through vivid vignettes based on composites of his many patients and their most important relationships -- while meticulously changing the identifying facts and relevant details to protect confidentiality. Covering the clinical course, treatment, genetics, biology, psychology, and destructive consequences of hysterical (histrionic), narcissistic, antisocial, paranoid, obsessive-compulsive, addictive, borderline, and schizotypal personality disorders, Fatal Flaws stands out in the literature for these powerful reasons: It is written for an unusually broad audience, from mental health students and trainees of all disciplines, to highly experienced clinicians, to patients who suffer from or are in destructive relationships with people with personality disorders. It is a hybrid -- part psychiatric textbook for clinicians and part self-help manual for patients and clients with personality and character disorders. It is designed to supplement treatment by providing patients with practical, evidence-based information about personality disorders and character flaws. It is particularly valuable to patients who are in psychotherapy, in part, because they are entangled in destructive relationships with people with disorders of personality and/or character. It is written in the first person, with the author directly communicating with a patient who either has a personality or character disorder or is in an important relationship with a person who has such a disorder. It is useful for people who are uncertain whether they or their loved ones have personality or character disorders, and who want to know more about these conditions and their treatments before making a decision about securing the help of a mental health professional. Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With Disorders of Personality and Character is a compelling volume that provides the essential information and a realistic sense of the clinical experience required to inform, orient, and support novice mental health professionals and seasoned practitioners alike as they face the ongoing challenges of treating patients or clients with personality or character disorders. It should also prove to be an invaluable resource for those who wish practical and effective help in understanding and changing their destructive relationships with people who have severe and persistent disorders of personality and/or character.
TRICKY PEOPLE profiles the whole range of 'difficult' types we've all encountered at times in social or business situations: back-stabbers, white-anters, blamers, whingers, bullies, tyrants, controllers, charmers, know-it-alls, perfectionists, competitors and the seriously self-obsessed. It offers imaginative yet practical ways to deal with these dangerous and frustrating creatures and identify the slippery techniques they employ to get their way. Buried cleverly within all the humour is an in-depth look at how difficult people manage us for their own ends - and how to overturn that. It helps us understand relationship patterns, office politics, our own shortcomings in our dealings with others, and what a difficult person might be able to teach us.
This little book gives more than 20 examples of BIFF responses--brief, informative, friendly, and firm--for all areas of life, plus additional tips to help readers deal with high-conflict people anywhere. 158 pp.
No matter how hard you try to reason with irrational people, it never works. So how do you talk to someone who just won't listen? You can't win by ignoring the insanity, and you can't argue it away. However, you can stop it cold. Top-ranked psychiatrist and communication expert Mark Goulston shows you just how to do so in this life-changing book for everyone trapped in maddening personal or professional relationships. Goulston unlocks the mysteries of the irrational mind, and explains how faulty thinking patterns develop. His keen insights are matched by a set of counterintuitive strategies proven to defuse crazy behavior, along with scripts, examples, and exercises that teach you how to use them. In Talking to “Crazy”, you will learn: Why people act the way they do How instinctive responses can exacerbate the situation, and what to do instead When to confront a problem and when to walk away How to activate the Sanity Cycle, which quickly transforms you from threat to ally How to use 14 simple yet effective communication techniques, including assertive submission flattery, the kiss-off, and more You can't reason with unreasonable people, but you can reach them. Talking to “Crazy” shows you just how easy it is to do it.
Amoral, cunning, ruthless, and instructive, this multi-million-copy New York Times bestseller is the definitive manual for anyone interested in gaining, observing, or defending against ultimate control – from the author of The Laws of Human Nature. In the book that People magazine proclaimed “beguiling” and “fascinating,” Robert Greene and Joost Elffers have distilled three thousand years of the history of power into 48 essential laws by drawing from the philosophies of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Carl Von Clausewitz and also from the lives of figures ranging from Henry Kissinger to P.T. Barnum. Some laws teach the need for prudence (“Law 1: Never Outshine the Master”), others teach the value of confidence (“Law 28: Enter Action with Boldness”), and many recommend absolute self-preservation (“Law 15: Crush Your Enemy Totally”). Every law, though, has one thing in common: an interest in total domination. In a bold and arresting two-color package, The 48 Laws of Power is ideal whether your aim is conquest, self-defense, or simply to understand the rules of the game.