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The Smartest Things Ever Said is a compendium of human wisdom culled from the world’s most celebrated—and sometimes anonymous—minds. From Confucius and Shakespeare to Maya Angelou and Woody Allen, and from Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison to Jeff Bezos and Jane Fonda, it is quite simply the best collection of the smartest quotes ever.
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.
You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic. Classified by such themes as "Truth, Lies, and Deception," "Men, Women, and Relationships," and "Passions, Virtues, and Vices," these quotes contain timeless messages for all humankind. Oscar Wilde: "A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position." Charles de Gaulle: "The cemetery is filled with indispensable men." Abraham Lincoln: "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." Sophocles: "Men of ill judgment oft ignore the good that lies within their hands, till they have lost it." Perfect for anyone who has ever been left speechless, this book will make you as glib as Oscar Wilde, as profound as Winston Churchill, and as wise as Aesop. Inspirational, entertaining, and thought-provoking, this is one collection that no library or bookshelf should be without.
In need of a bit of good advice? Well here is the best advice ever recorded--a compendium of personal tips, traditional proverbs, and clever observations from the literary, political, and entertainment world. The Best Advice Ever Given covers such diverse topics as life, love, success, forgiveness, friendship, character, health, and many more, including: * "Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."--François de La Rochefoucauld * "The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."--Ben Stein * "Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own."--Nelson Algren * "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen."--Ernest Hemingway * "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."--Oscar Wilde * "The secret of business is to know something nobody else knows."--Aristotle Onassis * "In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, be sure to leave room for the mouse."--H. H. Munro ("Saki") * "Keep cool; anger is not an argument."--Daniel Webster * "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."--Source Unknown * "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."--John F. Kennedy * "If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it."--H. Jackson Brown * "In the fight between you and the world, back the world."--Franz Kafka
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”—Groucho Marx An insult can be offensive and infuriating, but it means nothing if you have a better comeback. 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources, with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others.
A compendium of indispensable and inspiring quotes for people during any season of their lives…. The Most Inspiring Things Ever Said is a compendium of human wisdom culled from the world’s most celebrated—and sometimes anonymous—minds. From business figures, coaches and other sports figures, religious and spiritual leaders, educators, political leaders, and anyone who has ever inspired people, it is quite simply the best collection of quotes to inspire readers to new heights of endeavor, or start someone off on the right foot, whether it’s along the road less traveled or the more traditional path.
Perhaps best known for his classic movie lines, such as "Fill your hands, you sons-of-bitches!" from True Grit, the late actor John Wayne often displayed a spontaneous and biting wit when away from the screen as well. When a reporter from the Harvard Crimson sarcastically asked Wayne if he looked at himself as an "American Legend," for example, the Duke replied: "Well, not being a Harvard man, I don't look at myself any more than necessary."
Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher
John Lloyd and John Mitchinson have proven themselves to be masters at digging up obscure facts, abstruse information, and amusing anecdotes and presenting them effortlessly, somewhat slyly, with either great wit or at least a little bit of tongue in cheek. Their gifts are on full display in Quote Interesting, a lively, wonderfully enjoyable anthology of hundreds of quotes you probably have never heard before, arranged thematically from A to Z. From laugh-out-loud-funny bon mots to some real headscratchers, Lloyd and Mitchinson have gathered a universe of star-studded blurbs like: “The Beatles are dying in the wrong order.” —Victor Lewis Smith “When you forget to eat, you know you’re alive.” —Henry James “I think people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.” —Nancy Reagan “You know ‘that look’ women get when they want sex? Me neither.” —Steve Martin