[PDF] The Field Guide To Fcking eBook

Author : Emily Dubberley
Publisher : Quiver Books
Page : 144 pages
File Size : 16,36 MB
Release : 2012-06-01
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 1610583981

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"Emily Dubberley is a refreshing and thorough coach, taking students by the hand and various other parts of their anatomy in this most crucial area of human interaction. The Field Guide to F*CKING is a valuable new take on the subject, giving life lessons in life-making (if you're not careful about it). So many treatises of this kind are dreary and dull but this has a wit and sparkle to keep the reader, ahem - eager student, happily at his of her education. It reminds one of the Survivor's Guide series, actually brimming with facts and unusual 'I never knew that's', but a rollicking fun read too, to keep you riveted."—Robert Page, Member AASECT, SSSS, WAS and BASE, and Creator and Producer of the award winning Lovers' Guide, the world's number one brand for sex and relationships "In these liberated times, we students of the wonderful subject of Sex might think we know it all. But if we want to gain true mastery of our subject we will want to not only hone our practical skills, but also need be totally au fait with the underpinning of theory - to know about the latest research, explore new understandings, and benefit from the plethora of studies that have been done on the topic in recent years. It can seem a daunting task - but sexpert Emily Dubberley has made that task easy and enjoyable. In her new book The Field Guide to F*CKING, she uses the 'study guide' model to pack in the facts, expose the fictions and tell us absolutely everything we need to know about our special topic. Every page contains not only full coverage of the basics, but a whole heap of little-known facts, new insights and inspirational suggestions. And all this done it in such a humorous way that one is left smiling while all the time learning. Thought you'd seen it all with sex manuals? Well, now you have!"—Susan Quilliam, coauthor of The Joy of Sex, published by Octopus Field guides to birds, bees, and trees abound. However, until now, there has been no handy reference to the wildest creature of all (the horny human) in his natural habitat (the bedroom). The Field Guide to F*CKING is a hilarious encyclopedia that shows how to identify physical characteristics and bizarre seduction rituals of the creatures that are likely to be encountered during sexual forays. Hey, even members of the same species can have anatomical differences, right? What does one do when encountering a mushroom-headed penis or a hooded clit? Each entry cross-references which techniques for fucking go best with each genital size, shape, and quirk. For example, if you run across a large, thick penis, avoid positions where the female's legs are over her head—unless she doesn't mind having her cervix bumped. The Field Guide to F*CKING teaches you how to map out your partner's primary erogenous zones and decode sexual signals based on body language, kissing, and touch techniques. Sex has attracted many adventurers in search of its oft-elusive pleasures. The Field Guide to F*CKING is your indispensable guide to navigating the rocky terrain of mating and seduction with ease.

Author : Matt Kracht
Publisher : Chronicle Books
Page : 178 pages
File Size : 17,83 MB
Release : 2019-04-02
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1452177392

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National bestselling book: Featured on Midwest, Mountain Plains, New Atlantic, Northern, Pacific Northwest and Southern Regional Indie Bestseller Lists Perfect book for the birder and anti-birder alike A humorous look at 50 common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky, illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true. Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore! • Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. • The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching. • Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. "There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. " – Uncrate A humorous animal book with 50 common North American birds for people who love birds and also those who love to hate birds • A perfect coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book • Makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, or retirement gift

Author : Matt Kracht
Publisher : Chronicle Books
Page : 195 pages
File Size : 18,4 MB
Release : 2022-01-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1797213415

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Let's face it—all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks—no matter where in the world they reside. Following in the footsteps of the bestselling book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky, yet accurate, names and humorous, anger-filled drawings. This guide book details exactly how much these morons suck with facts about each bird's (annoying) call, its (stupid) migratory pattern, and its (downright tacky) markings. Complete with a matching game, bird descriptor checklist, tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example), this profanity-laden book offers a balance of fact and wit that will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike. A MUST-HAVE: A must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America. UNIQUE & LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY: This is a great coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book. And a bonus, while the content is humorous, it is practical and useful! A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift. Perfect for: • Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts • Armchair birders (or nonbirders) • Someone who needs a quirky gift for an animal lover friend • People with serious birders in their lives who want something lighthearted

Author : Aaron Reynolds
Publisher : Ten Speed Press
Page : 210 pages
File Size : 16,43 MB
Release : 2019-10-15
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1984856286

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A compact, comprehensive, and very silly field guide featuring more than 200 of the rudest birds on earth—from the creator of the Webby Award–winning hit Instagram account! Effin’ Birds is the most eagerly anticipated new volume in the grand and noble profession of nature writing and bird identification. Sitting proudly alongside Sibley, Kaufman, and Peterson, this book contains more than 150 pages crammed full of classic, monochrome plumage art paired with the delightful but dirty aphorisms (think “I’m going to need more booze to deal with this week”) that made the Effin’ Birds feed a household name. Also included in its full, Technicolor glory is John James Audubon’s most beautiful work matched with modern life advice. Including never-before-seen birds, insults, and field notes, this guide is a must-have for any effin’ fan or birder.

Author : Mamadou Ndiaye
Publisher : Voracious
Page : 226 pages
File Size : 32,72 MB
Release : 2022-07-05
Category : Nature
ISBN : 0316453870

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A wittily informative field guide to the deadliest animals on Earth from "AnimalTok" star @mndiaye_97 Ever wonder how to tell if a moose is about to subtract you? Curious why you should be terrified of cassowaries, the “velociraptor that time forgot?” Questioning whether that cute baby hippo is actually a homicidal maniac in the making? Yea, so was Mamadou Ndiaye . . . and now he's got your answers. 100 Animals That Can F*cking End You is the ultimate countdown to merk by animal, featuring everything from tiny bugs that can turn you into a hashtag to animals so massive they can murder you by accident. These include: • The massive Southern elephant seal, which "is built like a truck with the personality of a Spring Break frat boy" • Sperm whales with a call so strong it can vibrate you to death • A golf-ball-sized octopus that can erase twenty-six people with one bite • Hyenas, which have no qualms eating their prey while it is still alive • A snake so quick it can strike you three times before you blink You’ll learn not only which animals to avoid, but which ones can beat you in a footrace, which ones create surprisingly high body counts, and which ones will give you a good reason never to venture into the ocean. Mamadou also offers the occasional survival tip, even if it is just to make peace with your higher power. This dynamic, fact-filled, occasionally disturbing book is perfect for animal lovers and anyone perplexed by the natural world.

Author : David Duchovny
Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Page : 305 pages
File Size : 23,50 MB
Release : 2016-04-05
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 0374714762

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The New York Times bestselling author David Duchovny is back with Bucky F*cking Dent, a singular tale that brims with the mirth, poignancy, and profound solitude of modern life. Ted Fullilove, aka Mr. Peanut, is not like other Ivy League grads. He shares an apartment with Goldberg, his beloved battery-operated fish, sleeps on a bed littered with yellow legal pads penned with what he hopes will be the next great American Novel, and spends the waning days of the Carter administration at Yankee Stadium, waxing poetic while slinging peanuts to pay the rent. When Ted hears the news that his estranged father, Marty, is dying of lung cancer, he immediately moves back into his childhood home, where a whirlwind of revelations ensues. The browbeating absentee father of Ted’s youth tries to make up for lost time, but his health dips drastically whenever his beloved Red Sox lose. And so, with help from Mariana—the Nuyorican grief counselor with whom Ted promptly falls in love—and a crew of neighborhood old-timers, Ted orchestrates the illusion of a Boston winning streak, enabling Marty and the Red Sox to reverse the Curse of the Bambino and cruise their way to World Series victory. Well, sort of. David Duchovny’s richly drawn Bucky F*cking Dent explores the bonds between fathers and sons and the age-old rivalry between Yankee fans and the Fenway faithful, and grapples with our urgent need to persevere—and risk everything—in the name of love. Culminating in that fateful moment in October of ’78 when the mighty Bucky Dent hit his way into baseball history with the unlikeliest of home runs, this tender, insightful, and hilarious novel demonstrates how life truly belongs to the losers, and that the long shots are the ones worth betting on.

Author : The Captain
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 242 pages
File Size : 45,72 MB
Release : 2020-08-11
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0593189418

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History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life. Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born. The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great. You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra. People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

Author : Emily Dubberley
Publisher :
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 41,17 MB
Release : 2008
Category : Sex instruction
ISBN : 9780731813667

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"For those times when you want great sex and you want it NOW, Sex for Busy People provides the tips and tricks for those quality quickies where you can tear at each other's clothes, wreck the bed, and still make it back downstairs before the end of the commercial break."--Provided by publisher.

Author : Amy Alkon
Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin
Page : 314 pages
File Size : 44,8 MB
Release : 2018-01-23
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 1466892684

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Amy Alkon presents Unf*ckology, a “science-help” book that knocks the self-help genre on its unscientific ass. You can finally stop fear from being your boss and put an end to your lifelong social suckage. Have you spent your life shrinking from opportunities you were dying to seize but feel “that’s just who I am”? Well, screw that! You actually can change, and it doesn’t take exceptional intelligence or a therapist who’s looking forward to finally buying Aruba after decades of listening to you yammer on. Transforming yourself takes revolutionary science-help from Amy Alkon, who has spent the past 20 years translating cutting-edge behavioral science into highly practical advice in her award-winning syndicated column. In Unf*ckology, Alkon pulls together findings from neuroscience, behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and clinical psychology. She explains everything in language you won’t need a psych prof on speed-dial to understand—and with the biting dark humor that made Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck such a great read. She debunks widely-accepted but scientifically unsupported notions about self-esteem, shame, willpower, and more and demonstrates that: - Thinking your way into changing (as so many therapists and self-help books advise) is the most inefficient way to go about it. - The mind is bigger than the brain, meaning that your body and your behavior are your gym for turning yourself into the new, confident you. - Fear is not just the problem; it’s also the solution. - By targeting your fears with behavior, you make changes in your brain that reshape your habitual ways of behaving and the emotions that go with them. Follow Amy Alkon's groundbreaking advice in Unf*ckology, and eventually, you’ll no longer need to act like the new you; you’ll become the new you. And how totally f*cking cool is that?

Author : Chris Baker
Publisher : Macmillan + ORM
Page : 97 pages
File Size : 37,68 MB
Release : 2011-07-05
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
ISBN : 1429940212

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The truth about English is that it can get pretty boring. Dangling modifiers, gerunds, punctuation marks--it's enough to make you want to drop out of high school. Swearing and sex on the other hand, well, these time-honored pastimes warm the cockles of our hearts. Now, The Elements of F*cking Style drags English grammar out of the ivory tower and into the gutter, injecting a dull subject with a much-needed dose of color. This book addresses everything from common questions ("What the hell is a pronoun?") to philosophical conundrums ("Does not using paragraphs or periods make my thesis read like it was written by a mental patient?"). Other valuable sections include: •All I've got in this world are my sentences and my balls, and I don't break 'em for nobody •A colon is more than an organ that gets cancer •Words your bound to f*ck up One glance at your friend's blog should tell you everything you need to know about the sorry state of the English language. This book gives you the tools you need to stop looking like an idiot on message boards and in interoffice memos. Grammar has never before been so much f*cking fun.